


Love You Tomorrow

by Ari (wisdomeagle)



Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Messiah, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2007-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1634210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdomeagle/pseuds/Ari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you turn, in a moment, He is gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love You Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Diana Williams

 

 

Jesus submits to baptism, by John who is on fire, by John who is the prophet, by John who prays the truth. He submits to baptism, his robe flowing, glowing, into Jordan, his face alight with tomorrow's mission, with today's submission, his voice alight with angelic hymn, with promise and truth, and Judas meets his master. Then Judas turns to look at John, and when he turns again Jesus is gone, vanished in beatific vision, the space he occupied empty. And then he returns, smiling, greeting John's followers as if they are his own. "You'll come, eventually," he tells them. "You'll see. Everything will be all right."

"I'll come right now," Judas tells him. "I'll sell everything. I'll recruit. We'll give to beggars till we're out of food, and then --"

"Judas."

He never told him his name. Jesus just knew. 

"Tomorrow. I promise, everything will work out tomorrow."

++

Jesus announces his mission, tongue and face aflame again. This is good news, because people are innocent and will follow any good-looking man to the earth's end. But Jesus, who's beautiful, they only need to follow to Rome, and rebellion. The people have a peasant look in their eyes, hungry and savage, and Judas is afraid that Jesus doesn't know what he's doing, but Jesus promises, like Jesus does, and Judas has to believe him, because the promise is made with his mouth warm to Judas's own, his hand around his cheek, caress, bless, beloved. He has to believe. Jesus can take care of himself.

"And the rest, you can handle."

"Anything, anything. I'm your man."

Jesus only smiles, and when Judas looks again, he's gone, preaching to some fishermen.

++

Jesus heals the broken-hearted. His hands, tender, chafed, touch scars and scabs and pus and women and they are healed with a word, with a prayer. He heals them with the hands and with the mouth that Judas knows, yet different hands, that never hesitate over the wounds of the sick as they do over Judas's skin, pausing mid-caress to tremble. "Judas, not tonight --"

"If not tonight then when! You're always busy."

"Judas, I came for many, not for you!"

"Jesus, this is getting crazy. Think what you're saying. You know the Messiah talk is just talk, you're not --"

And when Judas turns his head Jesus is gone, sleeping by himself tonight because, as always, Judas pushed too far, and now there's nothing left for him.

++

Jesus spends the evening laughing, and Judas watches the sinners with wary eyes. There are loose women, they may well -- they might try -- and Jesus shouldn't, not this close, not when he's called Sabbath-breaker, not when people are starting to talk. And besides, tonight, Jesus promised -- 

Like every night, it starts with a battle, with Judas pressing, Jesus retreating, till his hands close around Judas's wrists, till he lowers his head and lifts Judas's robe and will not meet his eyes, till he buries his face between Judas's legs and Judas pretends this is what he wanted.

When he reaches to repay in kind, when his mouth closes around his Lord, Jesus is gone and Judas tastes only fire, burning his tongue, shaped like no man Judas has ever known but yielding like a woman to Judas's tongue, liquid flame that he swallows whole, devouring flame that will burn him alive.

There is something wrong with Jesus. But not -- but it can't be _that_. Let him be a woman in disguise, let him be fucking Magdalene on the side, let him he stealing from the common purse to buy wine or even whores, just don't --

please God don't let him be God.

++

One day, they are together. Jesus' step is light, the years have melted from his smile; he is holding hands with Mary but has eyes only for Judas, and this is the best a man can hope for in these times.

And before the week is out, Jesus is dead. He doesn't understand how this has happened, doesn't understand where they went wrong, does not believe it's Mary who will bury him, cannot believe he's taking his own life, cannot believe that death is not the answer, cannot believe that things went wrong.

He can't believe that Jesus Christ is risen. He won't believe it, can't believe it, don't believe it, it's a lie, because if Christ is risen then it's in vain, one terrible mistake that ended Judas's life and was the start of His.

"No, not in vain."

" _Christ_ , you scared me."

"Everything will be all right tomorrow."

"You just don't understand."

"Tomorrow, Judas. Promise." 

 


End file.
